Newt Gingrich wanders our great nation on a seemingly hopeless mission, a master-less samurai of our times. He’s a man on a mission to be our leader, and to boast of his limitations.
“I’m not a natural leader. I’m too intellectual; I’m too abstract; I think too much,” Newt admits.
I’m reminded of Dan B., someone I knew back in college. 
He saw himself as super sensitive, and thus always struck out with women (and eventually men too). “I guess my problem is that I love too much,” he would often say (or something like that).
At least Newt doesn’t suffer from that problem, having been married several times before. He even had the foresight to divorce wife #1 because she wasn’t “young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of a President.” Surely this is a man who knows women.
“Females have biological problems staying in a ditch for thirty days because they get infections,” Newt once remarked, cementing his reputation as one of the Republican party’s many experts on women.
“What of do you think of this story?” I ask my wife. “I don’t know how to end it.”
“Sorry honey,” Denise replies, “It’s just not drawing me in.”
Outside my living room window, the first ice cream truck of the season plays “It’s a Small World After All.”
“At least they changed the song this year,” Denise sighs.
