Fart Dog

Posted on February 13, 2012 by Josh

gif maker

Posted in Dog, Fart, Gas, Pug | Leave a comment

Some Republicans Show Their True Colors (Burnt Orange)

Posted on January 28, 2012 by Josh

Douchebags.   They are as much a part of the american landscape as credit cards, Pomeranians, and non-dairy creamer. 

And no characteristic defines the modern American douchebag better than the ubiquitous orange spray tan.

Now most republicans are not douchebags, but some are.  And to what degree republicans exhibit douchebag tendencies depends much on their future political aspirations.

Observe, please..


Rep. John Boehner before being elected Speaker of the House:





John Boehner recently:



See the difference?




Now let’s look at a republican whose political ambitions are on the decline..

Here’s Donald Trump before his brief involvement in the “birther” movement:





And here he is today:







What do you think?  Am I on to something here?




All things considered, I’m surprised that Senator John McCain never considered getting a spray tan himself.  His political career has been on a downward trajectory since he traded away most of his own political principles in the last presidential campaign.

And he did receive an endorsement from The Jersey’s Shores “Snooki” for his opposition for taxes on tanning salons.

I don’t know why the senator never exploited this support.  There are certainly douchebag republican voters out there.

And the Senator could benefit from a bit more skin tone.

Posted in Democracy, Douchebags, Politics, Republicans, Spray Tan | Leave a comment

Romney’s Rainy Day (and the Promise of New Jobs for You)

Posted on January 19, 2012 by Josh


So it turns out Mitt Romney has millions stashed away in the Cayman Islands.




Image from mariopiperni.com, a great website that I recommend.






Perhaps he’s just preparing for coming race war that Ron Paul‘s newsletter kept warning us about.





Image from David Weigel‘s column at The Slate.






Of course, thanks to great media coverage, we all know that Mitt Romney is an investment genius who created hundreds of thousands of jobs (more or less).









Now back in the Cheney/Bush administration, the smart investment was on Haliburton.









Where to invest your paycheck (or unemployment check) (or money from relatives) in 2013?  Let’s see who gets elected.


Posted in Capitalism, Finance, George W Bush, Investments, Libertarians and Other Selfish Creatures, Mitt Romney, Politics, Republicans, Ron Paul | Leave a comment

Ron Paul (in his own words)

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Josh

A lot of people are worried about global warming.  Scary business.  Luckily at least one of our presidential candidates is ready to step up and assume leadership on this troubling issue.

Civil rights are a whole other ball of wax.  I mean, everyone gets along with everyone, right?  Ask your black friends if they see a level playing field.  Ron Paul talks to his black friends every day, I’m sure.

If only Martin Luther King jr. were still alive.  Surely him and Ron Paul would be great allies in liberty.

Luckily we know the media is full of horrible lies about Ron Paul’s newsletter.  I mean, it’s not like a presidential candidate, who aspires to run a government of 2.65 million employees could be expected to be aware of what his staff of 7 people are up to all the time, right?

Right.

Posted in Democracy, Racism | Leave a comment

Are you Hungary? For democracy.

Posted on January 17, 2012 by Josh

There’s talk in the European parliament about taking legal action against Hungary, whose populist government has been criticized for moving towards authoritarianism.

Some are even suggesting expulsion from the EU.

So just what sort of initiatives has longtime Prime Minister Viktor Orban taken to invite such criticism?

    Here’s a partial list:

  • “Kiss a Stranger on the Mouth Mondays”
  • Boxed wine at state functions (with no free drinks for EU diplomats)
  • Only those without acne allowed to vote
  • Used car dealers required to provide citrus to all customers (the “Lemon Law”)
  • Maximum and minimum speed limit both set to 50kph on all roads.
  • Pension plan for judges now includes deeply discounted tickets on Italian cruise liners.
Posted in Democracy, Law | Leave a comment

World’s Fanciest Walgreens Opening Tuesday

Posted on January 16, 2012 by Josh

If you’ve lived in Chicago long enough, you remember the old Walgreens on the northeast corner of State and Randolph. It was there from 1926-2005, until it was demolished to build a Loehmann’s for some reason.

Here’s how it looked in the old days, when Chicago was still horribly segregated.

Now that Loehmann’s is gone, Walgreens is returning to the corner with vengeance, opening what could well be the most over-the-top drug store in the known world.

The store opens at 6:30 AM tomorrow.  Here are some advance pictures:

Here is the new store, taking up both floors of the old Loehmann's building.  26,000 square feet.

Take that, CVS!

The grocery store in this place should be pretty amazing.  On your way to purchase tampons, you’ll now have the option to enjoy made-to-order smoothies, self-serve frozen yogurt, sushi and juice bars, and a barista selling exclusive State & Randolph brand coffee.  

This puts Walgreens in direct competition with Starbucks, which does NOT sell tampons.

And, no, this isn’t your typical grocery store sushi (which in Chicago is usually distributed by the Moonies — it’s true).  This amazing drug store will have actual sushi chefs on premises.

Thirsty?  You’re a loser if your local drugstore doesn’t have at least 400 different varieties of wine.

I’ve also heard that this Walgreens will have special edition beers from Goose Island and Two Brothers

And supposedly this store will have it’s very own humidor.

Posted in Beauty, Beer, Booze, Capitalism, Cheese, Chicago, Drugs, Food, Pills | Leave a comment

Martin Luther King Jr: Where No Man Has Gone Before

Posted on January 16, 2012 by Josh

Martin Luther King, Jr., arguably one of America’s greatest heroes, is best known as the father of the modern American civil rights movement.  

His message of ethnic equality, shared opportunities, and non-violence, inspired a nation.

Less well-known is Dr. King’s role in encouraging the actress who would go on to play the first non-stereotypical black woman character on television.

I’m referring to Nichelle Nichols and her role as Lt. Uhura on Star Trek

Posted in Society | Leave a comment

Who Cut the Cheese?

Posted on January 15, 2012 by Josh

There was great pride across the dairy state last night when Miss Wisconsin won the 2012 Miss America beauty pageant.

Then, not 24 hours later, the Green Bay Packers were eliminated from playoff contention. The hopes of so many cheeseheads sunk like a badly piloted cruise ship.  (Just keeping it topical, folks.)

Hang in there, my northwoods friends.  Maybe next year beauty and sport will converge again.

Posted in Beauty, Cheese, Sports | Leave a comment

Fun with API’s

Posted on January 15, 2012 by Josh

Even though I work with web application production readiness every day, I’ve never done anything technical on my own time before.

Today I created API applications to allow login to my blog from Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Yahoo!, and LinkedIn. This required upgrading my server Python and creating custom apps on each website platform. Like so many things I tinker with, I didn’t know what I was doing much of the time, but got it done.

Of course, no one is actually reading this blog yet. But when you do, feel free to leave a comment under whatever name you like.

I really need a hobby or something.

Posted in About, API, Application Development, Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, Social Networking, Technology, Twitter, Yahoo! | Leave a comment

Shamrock Chicken

Posted on January 14, 2012 by Josh

The Shamrock Shuffle is an 8K race held at the beginning of the Chicago running season, usually about two weeks before the weather gets decent.

This year, I’m going to run it in a chicken costume.

Posted in Chicago, Mischief, Running | Leave a comment